PART TWO | Blacked Out to Business Owner: My Road to Recovery & Entrepreneurship

I vividly remember the first time I felt truly confident in both my soul and body. The day is September 6, 2020 and I haven't had a drink in 43 days. We visited the Happy Dahlia Farm in Petaluma, CA and took pictures, laughed way too loud, explored, and enjoyed the beautiful flowers. (I recently got to hear the owner of The Happy Dahlia Farm share her own personal entrepreneurship story at a small business mixer I attended, so that was a total full circle moment!) 

By this time I was already experiencing the physical and mental benefits of not drinking - my skin was glowing, I was losing unhealthy weight I had gained over the years, and I was getting support from not only my friends and family, but from people online who I chose to share my vulnerability with as a means to cope (I've always had a love for written expression, so sharing my story on the internet was a crucial part of my recovery, and I'm forever grateful to have had that outlet). But I was ready to do more. 

I wasn't even really sure what I was going to sell, but I decided that night after the dahlia farm that I was going to start my own business. One benefit of sharing my recovery story on social media was that I had begun to interact more with the community and had started following many small business accounts in Sonoma County, including my cousin whose own small business was succeeding on Instagram.

Two days later, I used a popular online printing service to create a super basic, but attractive, logo - a simple black and white bee with the name beeyond boutique. When I created the @BeeyondBoutique profile on Instagram and posted it to my personal account, I honestly didn't even think anyone would follow it! Within a couple weeks, though, I had gained a ice following and invested all of my $75 or so dollars in some cheap face mask chains and other small accessories. I officially launched my self-built website in October and made my first sale! I still remember the sound of that first CHA-CHING (IYKYK 😂). 

While doing it all on my own had it's certain challenges, and I did have to learn some things the hard way, I absolutely LOVED the process of building my business from absolutely nothing. Not only did I enjoy it but the hands-on experience kept me occupied, happy, and sober - Every fear I had about quitting drinking faded away with each milestone I achieved, and every experience I thought I would "miss out" on was replaced by something ten times as great. Even the setbacks - like the lack of support from people I thought would be my first customers, or getting rejected from the first few markets I applied to - were instrumental to my growth. Whereas the old me would have probably ran away and hid behind my vices, the new me was completely unwilling to settle for anything less than success. 

______________________________________________________

Fast forward to May of 2021, I attended my first vendor event as Beeyond Boutique with The SOCO Market hosted by my now-friend/mentor/inspiration, Mercedes Hernandez and became a part of the most incredible small business community. In July of the same year, almost exactly one year after becoming sober, I quit my 9-5 teaching ob without notice to pursue my small business full time. I celebrated this blessing in exactly the same place we had stayed one year before - in Gualala kayaking, soaking in the jacuzzi tub, sitting in the middle of the redwoods in our bathrobes listening to the sound of the ocean... and this time, I got to remember every single moment of it. *That night, sleeping in what has become one of my favorite places in the world, my Papa Tom visited me in my dream for the first time in many years and I woke up still feeling his hand in mine. I knew then that no matter what the future held for me after taking this crazy risk, I was going to be okay.

______________________________________________________

I have since grown my business to the point of being recognized by strangers who see my logo or the name Beeyond Boutique (probably THE most surreal thing for me). My incredibly supportive fiance and I have traveled all over the Bay Area and even Southern California promoting my brand at vendor events, stocking my candles in various brick & mortar locations, and sourcing materials for my products.

There have been AMAZING days, and there have been freakin' terrible ones, let's be real! But through it all, I have found the strength to not only handle the trials and tribulations of being a full-time business owner, but to recover from a cycle of abuse that so many are unable to break, especially at such a young age.

In conclusion, I want to say that while I owe so much of my growth and success to my customers and supporters, I owe my sobriety and everything that I have accomplished in the wake of it to absolutely no single person other than myself - it is a choice that no one person can make for you. If you are struggling and are getting sick of your own sh#t, I hope that you will find the strength to look within yourself and realize all that you are capable of. Do not be afraid to start over again, because it is never too late!

xo,

Kelsi | Beeyond Boutique